Top Ten Tips For Surviving Divorce

top ten

The “D word” can seem so daunting. It is natural to worry about what will happen to the kids, will you have to leave your home, how will friends and family react and a thousand other questions.
If you are thinking of getting a divorce, Barber & Co. will be here for you every step of the way.
Here are our top tips for doing it right:
1. Get advice early – be prepared
Knowing what your options are early on will put you in a better position going forward. Let the experts guide you and put your mind at rest. Barber & Co. offer a free initial 30 minute consultation: so don’t put it off, get the advice you need and be prepared.

2. Ask questions – there are no silly ones
Divorce is not something you go through every day and it is normal to have questions. Do not be afraid to ask. We are here for you from start to finish.

3. Don’t move out of the family home without legal advice
As the family home is usually one of the largest matrimonial assets, you should think carefully before moving out without legal advice, especially if children are involved. Speak to Barber & Co. and find out what your property rights are so you are fully informed before making any big decisions.

4. Do not hide assets
It may seem tempting to hide assets but in reality financial proceedings issued as a result of a divorce have very strict rules regarding full and frank disclosure of any financial assets. The Courts will take a dim view of any attempts to hide or squander finances or assets.

5. Be ‘document ready’
Going through a divorce is one of life’s most stressful times. Seeing a solicitor for the first time can be daunting especially if you have never stepped foot inside a law firm before. Have documents such as ID and your marriage certificate ready before the first appointment. In time you may need to look at the financial side of the breakup. Get your documents ready such as wage slips, bank statements, pension statements and your mortgage statement.

6. Be the grown ups
Children and teenagers should be sheltered from divorce proceedings as much as possible. Talking about the divorce in front of children could cause them more stress and upset. Remember that divorce does not end your relationship as parents and if you can be amicable your children will one day thank you for it. In the case of domestic abuse please seek assistance as soon as possible as you may be entitled to legal aid.

7. Money worries
If your spouse is the breadwinner you may be worried about finances after the separation. You may feel like you cannot afford to be on your own but there is help out there. Speak to Barber & Co. to find out what you could be entitled to before making any decisions.

8. A dose of reality
It is understandable that when hurt we want to lash out but going into a divorce with the attitude of taking your ex for all they have is not realistic. Can your ex afford to give you all you are asking for? The starting point for division of matrimonial assets is on a 50/ 50 basis. Whilst this may be departed from after considering the children of the marriage, the age, health and income-earning capacity of the parties, the party’s needs, standard of living enjoyed during the marriage and any other relevant circumstances, it is better to think realistically about finances so not to leave yourself vulnerable. Jacquie Birkett, our Head of Family Law, is very experienced in dealing with financial proceedings and can guide you through this process with ease.

9. Seek help
It is ok to not be ok. Going through a separation and divorce can be painful and stressful. It is said that people going through a break-up go through the 5 stages of grief as they grieve for the life and relationship they had. Dealing with the legal side of things is our area of expertise. We will look after you throughout this process but it is important to seek help to get through the emotional side of things too.

10. Time
Take time – to process. Especially when there has been a lot of heartbreak and arguing and the separation has not been straight forward. Give yourself time to process all you have been through before making any big decisions.
Take time – to consider your options, to heal, to get advice.
Take time – to invest in yourself. See friends and family, find a hobby or join a gym. Whatever interests you, take the time to invest in yourself.

Our advice is good because we listen.