STAYING TOGETHER IS NOT ‘FOR THE KIDS’

kidsDespite the almost institutionalised idea that it is better to stay together ‘for the sake of the children’, a poll carried out by ComRes on behalf of Resolution found that 82% of children aged 14-22 (who have endured separation or divorce) would actually prefer their parents to split if they are unhappy. The overall feedback was that it is better to divorce than stay together for longer and potentially part on worse terms. The upshot of staying together – for the kids – can often result in confusion and, in worse cases, guilt (with the child blaming themselves for the separation when it eventually happens).
The poll also found that what children would like during the separation process is for parents to include them in decision making and to not criticise each other in front of them. The report highlights that which is most damaging for children: uncertainty and conflict.
If divorce or separation cannot be avoided, children are often the innocent victims of the process. Blaming themselves, losing contact, feeling isolated, fearful for the future, they are emotionally vulnerable.
We advise upon and tailor make parenting plans to suit the needs of the children, as promoted by CAFCASS. We take into account all aspects of family life to build the best agreement, including parental contact, School (parent’s evenings / picking up / plays / etc.), Doctors, Religion, Christmas, etc.
Take the time to come and talk to us – our advice is good, because we listen.
Barber & Co Family Law, Ramsbottom.