How should I prepare myself emotionally and mentally for divorce?

No matter how amicable the breakup, the ending of a relationship is never easy. For some people, it can feel like a bereavement and sometimes such feelings can be mixed with relief, anger, pain and fear. Divorce and separation can come with added stress and emotion if there are children involved. In this blog post, we look at how you can cope emotionally and mentally with divorce.

How to cope with the emotional roller coaster of divorce?

When a relationship ends it’s normal to feel a whole host of feelings. These can range from failure, guilt, relief, freedom and more. You may feel all these emotions in one day or even an hour. What can be difficult is supporting your children while you are on such a ride of emotions. Sometimes the simplest and only thing you can do to help others is to take care of yourself.

You can do this by doing things that make you feel better. This could be anything from going for a meal with friends, having a manicure or taking up a new sport.

It is also important to treat yourself with something that is purely for you. If money is tight, you could try:

  • Going for a long walk
  • Enjoy a relaxing bath
  • Read a good book
  • Seeing friends
  • Spending time on a hobby or interest
  • Immersing yourself in music
  • Even binge watching your favourite TV show

Take this time to reflect on the positive and while it may not always seem like it, there is always a silver lining in every situation.

This is now the start of a new chapter for you, a good time to consider reviewing your will, as divorce affects inheritance under an existing will, this is because a will made during a marriage may no longer be appropriate when there is a separation and it becomes invalid on divorce. Also if you have children with your previous partner you need to ensure they will remain beneficiaries if anything was to happen to you, as most people will not want an ex-spouse to benefit under the terms of their will.

How to handle your ex-partner’s negative comments?

At times divorce can get ugly and both sides can say things in anger that can be hurtful. Sometimes you can find out that negative or untrue things have been said about you from your children or from someone else. If this happens, it may help to do the following:

  • Correct any untrue comments
  • Speak firmly and calmly
  • Draw the conversation to a close quickly

You can try to talk to your ex-partner about things that have been said, but if this is not possible, you can control how you react to their behaviour by:

  • Deciding whether the comment needs addressing or be ignored
  • If you think the negative comment needs addressing, ask your ex to correct any untruths
  • Explain to your children that you each have a different understanding of the truth

How to deal with children’s feelings during a divorce?

When it comes to dealing with your children’s feelings and needs during a divorce, communication with your partner is key. Your child will need different support from each parent at different times throughout the separation and trying to understand or meet their needs will help your child feel secure and loved, listened to and understood. It will put them in a good position to benefit from the positive experiences that being a part of two homes can bring with it. This is true no matter how old your child is.

If you need compassionate and understanding legal advice then contact Barber & Co. We have highly qualified and experienced family law solicitors across our three offices in Preston, Darwen and Ramsbottom who are on hand to help.